Adult stories – kite storms

“Not only did you fi nd a side of humanity you did not know existed, you found one you hoped did not.”

Kite Storms

I was offered the job as a caseworker at the Nebraska
State Penitentiary and would soon be moving. The delay
was attributable to a couple things. Number one, NSP
would not take me if it meant leaving the Diagnostic and
Evaluation Center (DEC) short-handed on staff. Number
two, the department did not want to change someone’s pay
rate in the middle of a pay period. I guess the math was just
too challenging.

One clever inmate who also knew he was leaving the
DEC soon spoke with fi ve new inmates. He acted like he
was doing them a solid with the straight scoop on things. He
told them if they wanted to be included when the unit went
to the Lincoln Correctional Center (LCC was attached via
tunnel) to use their pool (there is no pool), they needed to
send a “kite” or an Inmate Interview Request, stating such to
the recreation specialist. A couple days later, I was working
HU # 2 as the fl oor corporal when Kelly Turner showed up
with the stack. He was not very happy about it.

“Why the fuck do you let these guys do this? I’m not
asking you to juggle B-Bs under water or stand on your head
and gargle peanut butter.”
“Hey K-T, if that’s the worst thing that happens to you
all day, you’ve got it made.”

The incident provoked Offi cer Gary Anderson to
disguise his voice and call a new female offi cer to let her
know to tell her inmates to kite the recreation specialist if
they wanted to sign up for the four man golf scramble. Like
we are going to give them golf clubs.

It was not a secret that I was leaving soon. Staff as well
as inmates were collecting information. I informed two of
my co-shirkers that my new unit manager at NSP would be
Robin Lyons. I did not know Lyons from Adam.

One of my co-workers, Marvin Ostwald told me to say,
“Ostwald says to fuck off.”
The other, Kelly Turner (K-T) told me to say, “You’re a
non-hitting fuck.”

After I got to know Lyons, I realized that I could have
said anything to him and he would not have cared. One
time, after I had worked for him over a month, when he was
eating his lunch, I farted at him across the desk so hard that
it parted his hair. I practically shit on his desk. What we
had in common was a lack of maturity. It really was not our
fault. We were born that way.

NSP and the DEC were so different; I soon found it hard
to believe that the two institutions actually belonged to the
same department. That said, kites were used for similar
purposes in both locations.

Recently, an inmate came up with a solid scheme to be
transferred from the Nebraska State Penitentiary, north, to
the Omaha Correctional Center. He wrote in his appeal, that
his aging parents both had failing health, and that the shorter
trip would make it possible for them to visit him. To the
outsider, this does not sound like an issue. To those familiar
with both facilities, our instant reaction is to assume it is a
scheme to move to a cushier environment. OCC has better
living arrangements, a better canteen, better health services,
a better gym, etc… When the fi rst appeal was approved, it
did not take long for word to spread. The stack of Inmate
Interview Requests (Kites) could have fi lled the entire fi le
cabinet. The quality of life amongst all living parents of
inmates suddenly went drastically downhill. Why, there
must have been an epidemic. All of a sudden, every out-oftown
inmates’ folks were aging and in poor health, to the
point where they could not travel to Lincoln.

The best one was inmate Roger Winkler. His mother,
bless her heart, came down with a serious problem. Yes, she
was aging, and of course, she had failing health. I really feel
sorry for the poor woman. She was so sick she could not
come to Lincoln at all. Omaha was the obvious choice. It
was a much shorter drive.from Milwaukee.

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